I'll start off by saying that I know I seem to harp on about body image A LOT but that's because I think about it A LOT. I also know that I'm not alone in this. This video however seems to buck the trend nicely in what has become a steady stream of 'before and after' stories. Taryn Brumfitt was so unhappy with her body that she decided to get the perfect one - I have no idea how she got the determination to do it - but she did - and how! Now this is usually the point where we congratulate her achievement and then instantly berate ourselves for not having the 'discipline' to do the same. But the twist comes when she actually reverses the before and after. She is now, shall we say 'softer', more 'real', whatever word works quite frankly and she calls this her after shot. Her journey from hating her body, to having the 'perfect body' and now to the body she now accepts is being made into a documentary called Embrace.
It's startling to me to see this well trodden path diverted in such a spectacular way. Faced with my own every changing body there was something in this video that gave me an insight as to what goal I really should be chasing. Because if I, like her, did ever sculpt the 'perfect' body would I in fact be any happier? If the answer is yes then I've been miserable since I was 14 just because my hips weren't 2 inches smaller, and I don't think that's strictly true. Yes I have always had a love of a sarong and board shorts over a teeny bikini - but I wouldn't say I've been miserable for all of those years. Sure there are times when I am miserable about my body but those times are becoming less frequent and less intense it has to be said.
I can't suck in my stomach anymore, which is irritating and low rise jeans screwed my tall frame into a constant battle with the 'muffin top' which I swear did not exist when we wore mom jeans in the 90's. Oh bring back the belted high waisted jeans with a Top Shop crop top. Oh hang on they ARE back but if I wore them now then at 37 they are actually 'mom jeans' and I'd look like a strange version of my 16 year old self. Oh how cruel fashion can be.
I'm getting off topic I know. BUT what I loved most about this video is Taryn Brumfitt herself. She just seemed so warm and I wanted to give her a hug and go have a glass of wine with her. She looks like you'd have one hell of a laugh with her, and you know she wouldn't allow me to do my sarong shuffle round the pool. She'd make me jiggle and jump onto a lilo with a huge grin on my face. I like that image. Wouldn't you want to do that? We can all side shift, arm out, chin down, foot tiptoe our way through Instagram for the day but the lilo jumping sounds SO much better.
And suddenly it occurs to me how attractive confidence really is and not only that, but how much more important it FEELS to jump onto a lilo - forget how attractive it is! isn't our life about how we feel not how our Instagram account is perceived? When did we all become so narcissistic? I don't think any of us would care about our backsides or our upper arms if we were alone in the jungle for a few weeks.
So that being said, as I try to avoid eye contact with my 40's I know that I just gotta get this stuff sorted. Even if over the years I have come a long way in terms of how I see my own body my friends and I still talk about this topic - a lot, which really seems like such a waste of two relatively well formed brains.
So as I try to conclude my rather convoluted point - I think in the end what the signs are pointing at is how things feel.
If it feels good to cover up, cover up, if it feels good to eat a cheese burger eat one, or go for a swim or a run, whatever feels good - today. Not what looks fabulous for a month on Facebook.
http://leonardoviotti.deviantart.com/art/In-the-Rain-200790116
I'd start or end your day with this video (at the end of this post) because it feels good to watch it and today I wish you and your imperfect tummy or your less than pert boobs or somewhat unsculpted thighs a fantastic day. Because there is too much talent and kindness and love out there to spend any more time talking about how our bingo wings look - just don't move your arm quite so rapidly perhaps. Wear a looser top, dye your hair that colour you always wanted (I just emptied a bottle of bleach over my head - twice - oh the joy!) Go for a long walk, eat a huge salad and a ton of cheese and make sure that ice cream you have is the best you can buy.
Whatever feels good.
xxx Jo