I've been thinking about the contents of the video at the end of this post - even before I watched it. And what I'm slowly coming to realise is that so many of us - perhaps even ALL of us can relate to this. And all the years we've wasted.
Are we going to blame marketing? I'm not sure what else we can blame, because where else are we getting these ideas from? We are being sold an idea that's a lie and we are spending every dollar and every minute trying to make it a truth.
I read an article recently that asked the question, "What fact about you today would make your 8 year old self cry?" Instantly I knew. That I was STILL trying to make my body what I thought it was supposed to be. I went on my first diet at 9.
I recently found a card I had written at age 10 and having lost a little weight I had written about not having to feel ashamed about my face and body anymore. Age 10...
And today at 36?
I'm getting there, but only just. I see pictures of myself much smaller and younger and realise I felt overweight and ashamed even then. And looking at the pictures now I want to cry for that girl.
Carrie and I were photographing our new products recently and we had her 14 year old beauty of a daughter model them for us and then it suddenly struck me. Our demographic is women is their 30's and upwards, Carrie and I are both in our 30's and 40's, and neither of us play soccer 5 nights a week, nor do either of us have our fourteen year old bodies anymore. Then why on earth are we putting our clothes on someone who is at the other end of our spectrum? Why are we ignoring ourselves and the women who wear our clothes? Why are we perpetuating this lie?At first Carrie wasn't excited with the idea that from now on only we would model our own clothes, so that women our size and our age can see what they will actually look like, but we both know it's the only way forward. (And yes, we will be doing it without hitting the re-touch button!)
In our last campaign we used our beautiful friend Johnnette, herself in her mid-40's and I decided not to do any re-touching. I think they're some of my favourite pictures, because they show her beauty and they show the truth. The beautiful truth.
Our lovely Johnnette
This video is real and funny and sad. And I envy that point in my life - my future me, who won't feel she has to have "age appropriate hair" or the need to reach for the dye every few weeks. The woman who sees beauty in her body because it works, because it's taken her all over the world and known so many adventures. Who doesn't look at the new freckle and frown about it, who doesn't cringe when her waist is hugged. I don't want to wait until I'm 70.
I made the choice a few months ago. I - like the woman in this video asked myself "When are you finally going to be okay?" And like her too, I decided, "Right now". But it's a journey and it's a choice - daily. It takes work, patience, humour and consistent (and at times enormous) effort.
I do know that so many of us have lost sight of something monumental and it's destroying the beautiful truth of who we are.
I hope this video has an affect on you this morning, as you hold your stomach in so a stranger won't judge you, as you cringe when the wind catches your shirt and your not-so-perfect stomach gets a rare outing. As you get more and more depressed walking around the clothing stores and try to avoid the hideous lighting in the changing rooms. As you pull your face trying to see what it would be like without the lines that show people where you've been how much you've laughed. As you envy that teenager in her skinny jeans in the line at the checkout and then skip lunch. As you try desperately to pass on thoughts of self love to the children around you and already know you're failing when they say "I'm fat".
We do have a choice, it's simple but it's not easy. Ask yourself, right now as you read this, and watch this video of this Goddess of a woman who never knew it -
When are you finally going to be okay?
It's not up to them, it's up to you. You get to choose.
Right now.
xx Jo
For more these inspirational stories visit http://stylelikeu.com/the-whats-underneath-project-2/