“Without knowing the force of words, it is impossible to know more.” ― Confucius
Daily, and in fact, more often than not, minute by minute (if you’re someone who keeps up to speed with the world’s ‘News feed’), it seems that words are telling us what to eat, who to hate, who to judge, who to love, how to love and who we are. Who we want to be and even how to be who we think we should be… it goes on. Before we know it we are drowning in a cacophony of words. Noise, everywhere, inner words, outer words, hidden words, shameful words – they always seem the loudest those last ones…
And sometimes we tiptoe around words. We hide them from ourselves and from others. We share only what we can’t help but share or just the words that we believe help to keep the giant cog we call life and diplomacy turning. Of course there are those delightful creatures that declare, “I’m only being honest”, or “I’m just saying what I feel!” Or how about - you’re hurting people. Please try again.
Our words have so much power it seems crazy that we were ever allowed to get our hands on them. And yet what a joy when the social media world opened up and finally, FINALLY we were able to use our minds and words, even if they were simply to say what WE felt. And boy did we start to say it…
Recently my friend saw a post on a local residential Facebook group by an unwell mother asking for help with some washing as she was alone, and with an equally sick child and no doubt going slowly stir crazy as any intelligent person would assume. I also assume the women in the Great Depression were going equally insane but they didn’t have tweets or Facebook groups. A few well meaning and normal individuals responded – the reason for such a group’s existence - and then it came. Sure as the rain in spring. The feisty, all knowing, Wi-Fi savvy, #hash tag addicted something year olds who decided in their infinite wisdom to make this woman’s life just that little bit worse for the day. Because that’s a good days work done.
So while they sat in their parents comfortable living rooms or coffee shops waiting for their ‘no-foam lattes’ to show up, they expounded all sorts of nonsense about how this woman should be living. Not just a mild grumble because someone just ‘twerked’ away their morning calories. No, this was a vile and hateful onslaught to a woman who asked her local community if they knew someone who could help with some laundry. Justly deserved I hear you cry.
To digress and onto Bill Bryson’s new book for a moment, he spoke about an African American boy in the 1920’s, who on lake Michigan one hot summers day fell asleep on a raft that happened to wash ashore on a whites only beach and was stoned to death for the mishap. The power of thought indeed.
Apparently now more than ever sticks and stones still hurt but words and ideas are the things that kill.
Given the current state of our world, what’s left of it anyway, I find myself looking through the molasses of hate and judgment to find the light. The funny stuff, not the ‘laugh at them’ sort, the “I found yesterdays knickers in my jeans” sort – (yes, I just did this). I look for the wisdom, for the kindness and every so often (thought I hate to admit it) the ones that make you feel vindicated. That tells you that the bad guy doesn’t always win. Because it seems so often they do.
Whether it’s on a long haul flight, or at the supermarket, there are too many times these days when I want to stand up and say, “No. That behavior is not okay. Even if you had a bad day, or if your mother’s on drugs, or your dad wears gloves on his feet, or your roof is a funny shape. If you slept in a rabbit warren till you were five or couldn’t read the labels on the soup tin. It’s still not okay.” Being ‘honest’ is often just your opinion and it’s often wrong. It can also be cruel.
It’s amazing too that when you stand up to those “I’m just being honest crew” how angry they get at the words you use. Sometimes the calm, well thought out, but perhaps uncomfortable to hear words are the hardest to hear. Sometimes I think it comes down to the classic line, “When you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all”.
So to those of you “just being honest” folk out there. Please stop dirtying up our inane and harmless forums with your ‘truth’ and making another single mothers day hell – she really didn’t need that. Please stop commenting on that beautiful and talented girls eyebrows and that you hate them – I mean, really? Please stop laughing at people being hit in the playground. They will wear that scar forever, long after you’re gone. Please stop spreading bad and inflated news. It’s fiction most of the time – we know this by now surely? Please choose your words more wisely, or even better, if you’re stuck on that one, be quiet, just for a second, Twitter wont mind, nor will we. Please say something kind to someone today, this evening, tomorrow, even if it’s just ‘thank you’.
That’s it. I was just being honest.
Now I feel I should write a joke or something…
x Jo
